Free at Last

Great news from the Yucatan. Bear lovers all over the world will breathe a deep sigh of relief to know Curly Bob has been found alive.

Reports are sketchy but it seems the imminent rescue mission  by the S.B.S. (Special Bear Service) was cancelled at the last minute after the ransom was paid. Bob was found by locals, wandering down a jungle path looking very dazed and confused. He only had his bag containing his Ipad and his missing right ear.

Bob’s knowledge of Spanish has not improved much during his captivity i.e. it is still non existent.

Stories are emerging from the jungle via the locals who have sporadic contact with “Las Patas Negras”. Apparently sounds  have been heard along with flashing lights seen in the jungle all night long. Some say it was  evidence of ghostly hauntings whereas others believe it was more like signs of rave like partying.

People familiar with the desperados say they are like any other bears who all love a good party.

Teams searching for Bob reported finding heaps of discarded honey jars, chocolate wrappers and empty beer bottles scattered around the jungle. Many say that Bob was released for health reasons as  they were desperate for a good night’s sleep. Whilst these tales are unconfirmed it is known that pharmacies within a 50 kilometre radius of the suspected hideout have all run out of hangover remedies.

Bob is currently in recovery in a hospital near Acapulco having had surgery to reattach his right ear. He is in good spirits  and looking forward to resuming his business course.

I have again taken the liberty of selecting 2 of my works to publish and I trust Bob will approve once his Ipad is charged up again.

Once again, on his behalf. I want to thank all his fans for their generosity, support and ransom donations, especially the honey and chocolate .

If you wish to email Bob direct on his IPad you can at vanbear7@gmail.com

The paintings I have selected are “Bushfire”

and “Cabanon Dans Les Alpilles”

both of which are oils on canvas.

Regards

Vanbear7 pp Curly Bob

 

Deadline Close

The latest message received from the Yucatan was in Spanish which is not entirely surprising as the desperado bears live in Mexico. It reads “Esta es nuestra última advertencia. Si el rescate no está en nuestras patas de la medianoche (hora local), entonces Curly Bob recibe el tratamiento doble Van Gogh y luego darle de comer a las arañas (grandes)”

For those of our readers who are not fluent in Spanish, including myself, a rough translation c/o Google Translator would be "This is our last warning. If the ransom is not in our paws by midnight (local time ) then Curly Bob gets the double Van Gogh treatment and then we feed him to the spiders(big ones)”

They have even sent a picture of themselves, suitably disguised.The one on the left has the sinister name of “La "Pata Negro”, “The Black Paw” . He is the leader of the gang which is named after him. The one in the middle is called “El Chocco” because of his obsessive addiction to anything made of chocolate.

Local police say either of them would sell their mothers for a jar of honey or a bar of chocolate. Thankfully we expect to have the ransom airlifted to them before the deadline.

In what Bob said might be his last message, (gulp),  he wants the 2 following works to be published. If it comes to the worst he would like me to carry on painting albeit without his expert guidance. That’s Curly Bob, humble to the last. Needless to say any further news will be posted to Bob’s Blog, Twitter and Facebook pages.

Anyway, with a lump in my throat I have posted

“Boats in the Estuary” an oil on canvas and ;

”Brancaster Staithes, Norfolk” –  Gouache on Board.

Vanbear7

pp Curly Bob

Outrage!!!

Terrible news has reached us from the desperados holding Curly Bob hostage. Avid readers of this blog will recall the threat made by the head of the gang called  “Las Patas Negras” (The Black Paws), saying failure to comply with their ransom demands would result in  sending me one of Bob’s ears. The photo below, received by email, shows they  meant what they said.

Failure to pay up pronto, (a bandit expression), will result in the other ear  being sent via the post while Bob stays in the jungle.

We have been overwhelmed  by donations of honey and chocolate sent in by Bob’s fans and bear lovers all over the world. Meanwhile specially trained hostage negotiators are flying to the Yucatan as we speak.

Despite his horrific injury Bob  has sent me instructions, via his captors, to publish another 2 paintings for his ever growing audience to remember him by. he can’t use his bear friendly IPad to communicate any more as the battery has gone flat.

On Bob’s behalf I wish to express our gratitude for all the donations to the ransom fund and messages of support.

We can only hope Las Patas Negras have some measure of decency and will return what appears to remain of Curly Bob to us very soon .

The paintings requested by Bob are  “Boats at Low Tide” and

“Boats at Rest, Norfolk” both of which are oils on canvas. Any more news will be posted as soon as it is received.

Vanbear7

pp Curly Bob

He’s Alive!

Great news at last,  Bob is alive and well. Via email,  Bob tells me he and his pals are all in good health.

Las Patas Negras (The Black Paws)  who prey on helpless bears have allowed Bob to use his specially adapted IPad to communicate their ransom demands. These are  100kgs of honey, marshmallows and chocolate. They have asked for “Fairtrade“  brands only ( it seems even these villains have some ethics).

If their demands are not met within a week the dastardly swine have said they will send one of Bob’s ears as proof of their intentions.  I explained to Bob that the British Government’s official position is that it does not negotiate with terrorists. Bob explained, in somewhat forceful terms, how this is a short sighted approach especially as he doesn’t want his fur marked or kapok spilled.

It is ironic that Bob’s blog became so popular in a short space of time.  The bandits now realise he is a bear of standing with over 300 fans worldwide and have increased their ransom demands accordingly.

Having devoted his life to charity fundraising Bob has no money of his own (he lives with me rent free). Therefore  a world wide appeal is being launched for donations of honey, chocolate and marshmallows. Bob’s safety may well depend upon the generosity of bear and art  lovers world wide.

However Bob remains positive and has asked me to post 2 more paintings from the archives.

These are “Blossom”

and

“Blur” both of which are oils on canvas.

More news of Bob will be posted the moment it becomes available. Meanwhile Bob has asked me to thank all his fans for their messages of support.

Vanbear7

p.p. Curly Bob

Curly Bob Has Been Kidnapped !

Readers of Curly Bob’s blog will be shocked to hear that we have received a message from the British Consulate in Mexico City saying Bob’s party of bears were kidnapped at gunpoint during their excursion into the Yucatan jungle earlier this week.

Initial reports were lacking in detail. When I called the Consulate our worst fears were confirmed. Bob and his fellow travellers are being held hostage by a fiendish group of bandits known throughout the Yucatan as Las Patas Negras (The Black Paws), who will stop at nothing to achieve their aims.

Apparently they have a dreadful reputation for smuggling honey, chocolate and ice cream across the Mexican border. There are hundreds of police and soldiers combing the jungle for Bob and his pals.

The nation and bear lovers everywhere  hold their breath hoping for Bob’s safe return.  He is a born survivor which makes me optimistic. He once spent weeks in a bin bag, when we were having some building work done. He emerged unscathed apart from his battered pride and his fur ruffled a bit.

I am certain he would wish me to carry on his good work so I have chosen to publish 2 more works from the archive which I hope will meet with his approval  and be enjoyed by his growing number of fans worldwide.

The paintings are :-

“Blasted Oak” – Oil on Canvas &

 

“Blood Lust” which is also an Oil on canvas both from circa 2008/9. 

Before he left Bob insisted I keep an accurate record of sales and titles of work as he is normally a very tidy bear. I plan to ring again today for more news.

Vanbear7 p.p. Curly Bob

.

News From Abroad–Bob is heading into the jungle!

There has been a flurry of emails from Bob and several calls. These have been made during what he calls “breakout meetings”. I am not sure exactly what this means but I could here lots of music and the clinking of glasses in the background. I am beginning to suspect that the work to play ratio could be increased somewhat. I have tried to explain to Bob that between answering his calls ,emails  and replying to his ever growing fan club I have very little time for painting and drawing.

I am beginning to regret buying him the specially adapted IPad and IPhone. Another difficulty is that Bob has never been abroad before so the concept of time zones is a mystery to him.  He called me at 3.00 a.m. this morning as it was only 8.00 p.m Acapulco time. None of this is helping my artistic output at all.

He told me he is off on an excursion with several other bears who are on the same business seminar. It is to explore the hidden gems of the Mayan civilisation. He thinks it is a good idea to take his camera (also specially adapted) so that the photos will inspire me to paint a new range of paintings when he returns. I warned him that there are snakes (big ones) in the jungle and it is very damp there which will play havoc with his fur.

However Bob is an intrepid bear and not likely to be put off  by giant anacondas or anything else for that matter. I only hope he knows what he is doing. I shall be glad to have him back safe and sound in good old Blighty at the end of next week. I asked him if he had enough insect repellent but he thought the light rum and triple sec in his banana daiquirys would do the job.

Meanwhile he has again signed off with a request for me to publish 2 more paintings. These are “Black Point, Penmon #2 ” – an oil on canvas and ;

 “Blakeney Beach, Norfolk” – a gouache on canvas board. This is the first formal painting in gouache. As always Curly Bob is keen to keep my portfolio  balanced .

Drop by again, for more news of Bob’s progress on his seminar and the results of the expedition into the jungle.

Vanbear7 p.p. Curly Bob

A trip to the airport.

I took Bob to the airport this morning. He didn’t have much luggage with him except for his bear friendly IPad, night cap & pyjama plus a lot of (my) money and 2 credit cards which he says are for overheads???

He also had special non greasy sun block which protects him against fur burn and worse. Bleached ears are a real hazard for bears travelling to sunny climes. His ensemble was completed with a bespoke pair of sun glasses. It added to the air of mystery surrounding him.

I had to explain to the airport staff that Curly Bob was an international celebrity and therefore couldn’t possibly be seen going through the X-Ray machine. In any case it might damage his fur.

On hearing this, the security staff ,who apparently are all avid fans of his blog, waved him through to the V.I.P. entrance and within an hour he was jetting his way to Acapulco.

He will monitor feedback to his blog, my website and posting of  artworks to Google and Flickr via the wifi connection in his Presidential Suite.

In his absence I hope to be able to do some painting between answering memos, replying to his fan mail and posting more artworks.

In fact as I write this a memo has arrive from C.B. directing me to post 2 paintings which are a) Beach Storm (acrylic ink on canvas)

and b) Black Cat (pencil and watercolour).

He feels these will help balance my portfolio. When it comes to honey, ice cream and choice of paintings he is not a bear to be trifled with .

I cannot say when his next post will be or which paintings it will contain. It all depends on how the seminar progresses and how much banana daiquiri he gets through.

Vanbear7 p.p. Curly Bob