He's Here At Last

Bob arrived in Avignon at long last. He contacted me using his new paws friendly IPhone and asked me to meet him at the TGV station.

His train arrived on time but there was no sign of Bob. I had visions of him being carted off to Marseille which is not a good place to be for a young bear to be. ( You have got to be joking!...Ed)
Therefore I boarded the train in case he needed help with any luggage. I could hear music coming from the bar and cafe so I made my way upstairs quickly.

My fears were groundless. Bob was sat on the bar surrounded by a group of very attracitve( i.e. hot!) ladies who were hanging on his every word. He  was surrounded by an even greater amount of empty wine & beer bottles. Bob wasn't for leaving so I yanked him off by his ear which he had so nearly lost in the Yucatan last year. Bob was less than impressed by this unseemly exit and the loss of face it could entail.

However, when I explained that Avignon is surrounded by vineyards and has dozens of restaurants and bars, not to mention an abundance of attractive females, he cheered up no end. Apparently he had no luggage apart from his satchel, IPad and his overnight bag.

I managed to smuggle him into his/our room without the management spotting him. Many of the staff at the hotel remember his infamous escape from the hotel, last year, using knotted bedsheets. I hope having him in the same room as me will curb some of his social excesses in the furpots of this peaceful Provencale city.

Once inside Bob headed for his bed for his afternoon siesta. Before dozing off he asked me to post another painting. Therefore we present " Village Andalucia", oil on canvas from before 2011.

Still No Sign of Bob

Despite promises to the contrary Curly Bob has not put in an appearance in Avignon where I am waiting for him. This is not such a bad thing as we are staying at the same hotel as last year and regular readers of this blog will remember there was a certain amount of confusion concerning the bar and accommodation bill. (i.e. They were both unpaid) This resulted in bob spending some time in the local pokey. I am not unduly worried as the route taken by the train runs down the Rhone valley which is renowned for having some of the finest vineyards in the world and we are fast approaching the wine harvest.

This morning my in box contained a directive to post material from 2013 and earlier to clear the way for my more recent efforts. I have taken an executive decision to post material on a more regular basis to enable me to clear the backlog.

New Work On Show At Botany Bay This Weekend!

This is my latest painting of a well known local landmark. It is called "Winter Hill, Evening Mist". It is an acrylic painting on canvas at 60cm x 50cm. It is not framed but is finished on all four edges so you can hang it as it is or have it framed to suit your decor.
It is on sale at Botany Bay Mill Shopping Centre, Canal Mill, Chorley, PR6 9AF and can be viewed on the third floor landing of the north facing staircase.

For details of Botany Bay see http://www.botanybay.co.uk/

All feedback welcome and I answer all enquiries as soon as I can. 
vanbear7@gmail.com

Still in Amsterdam

Yet again I am concerned because Bob has not come back from holiday after some 2 weeks. He went with us to Amsterdam by train but we went our seperate ways soon after arrival. Apparently Bob was very interested in locating some coffee shops.???

After making some enquiries it seems that coffee shops in Amsterdam are not primarily purveyors of coffee. I have since learned ,for that, you need to visit a cafe. A garbled email from Bob said that his research was going well and he was sampling lots of the local produce. Originally I assumed this was a reference to the excellent apple pie and cream sold by many Amsterdam cafes but now I am not too sure.

The wording of the email and the repeated references to "cake" lead me to fear the worst and that Bob is now actively engaged in trying out the local produce.

While the problem is being resolved I have taken an executive decision and now publish "Cwm Idwal", an acrylic from 2014. It is fitting to choose a Snowdonia scene as we plan to be leaving some paintings at St David's Hospice Shop in Lllandudno on Sunday. 2 will be views of Snowdonia  and 2 from Provence. All works will be published in this blog in due course.

Rotten Borough's New BMP Unveiled !

Having been duly elected by the populace of the said borough Curly Bob is now a serving Member of Parliament for the next 5 years or at least that is the plan.Before embarking on a resume of the election's aftermath Bob has asked me to post "Sunrise, Snowdon Horseshoe", an oil on canvas from several years ago following one of our many happy holidays in North Wales.

Journalistic hacks have been hounding Bob ever since the rumours concerning the election count reared their ugly head. At first it was thought to be merely sour grapes by Bob's opponents. That was until one of the more knowledgeable, (more like more sober ...Ed), residents of Rotten Borough pointed out that there were no other opponents.

Furthermore some closer scrutiny of the Borough electoral roll showed there were just 689 residents of voting age whereas the total number of votes cast for Curly Bob  were in excess of 8000!

Even the slowest of our residents could see that there was something amiss. Once the hacks could smelled blood there was no stopping them. A little more digging revealed that in the total figure of 8216 were the following items:-

Google followers    2100

Twitter followers  1250

Facebook Friends    166

Pinterest followers   50

Residents             3566

Clearly Rotten Borough was living up to its's name. Whilst writing this blog I have endeavoured to avoid using expletives and 4 letter words  but Rotten Borough appears to be in a worse state than F***, the infamous football body run until recently by Septic Splatter. No doubt further revelations are pending.

All that said Bob was not allowing anything to spoil his victory celebrations. He can be seen below enjoying a glass of his favourite "Hobgoblin" like a true "Bear of The People".

A Result at Last!

After weeks of uncertainty Rotten Borough has at last produced an election result. Rumours were rife that the count was rigged and ballot boxes had been tampered with. This was not entirely surprising as as the consituency does not have the name of Rotten Borough  for nothing.

Either way Curly Bob's fans & followers will be pleased to know that Bob has been duly returned as B.M.P. for the aforesaid borough. Celebrations at Curly Bob's party office went on late into last night and beyond. No doubt Bob will hold a press conference, in due course,  to thank his tireless campaign staff for all their efforts in helping him achieve his first electoral success.

Bob appeared this morning looking vey much the worse for wear. He took time out in his search for a hangover cure to ask me to post "Paradise #2", an oil on canvas from 2013. He felt something upbeat was in order and in keeping with the warm weather currently being enjoyed here in the U.K.

The paprazzi were out in force and despite the threat of litigation and worse it is expected that photos will emerge from the allmighty knees up held at campaign H.Q. last week. Bob is so pleased with the result he still refuses to take off his rosette. I have pointed out to him thet if it gets dirty and he persists then he will be going into the wash with it. He is giving the matter some serious thought.

The Count Goes ON!

The fact that Rotten Borough is still looking for missing voting papers a week after GE2015 has done nothing to allay fears that the electoral process is broken beyond repair. Curly Bob is still awol and has sent another note for me to post "Tuscan Hills", oil on canvas from 2013.

Outrageous Allegations!!

Rumours have beencirculating in Rotten Borough before, during and after the General election 2015. They concern the way in which the election was conducted.

For example a huge number of discarded ice cream cartons, chocolate bar wrappers and empty honey pots were found behing several voting booths. Either the staff manning the booths had a prodigeous appetite for such items or the ugly head of attempted bribing of the voters.

Needless to say ther eis absolutely no suggestion whatsoever that Curly Bob had any paw in the matter. However the fact that the count has yet to be completed 5 days after GE2015 points to something being seriously amiss in Rotten Borough.

Investigations continue into this farago of shady practices which can bring nothing but shame on the good name of Rotten Borough..(You have got to be joking! ..Ed)

Meanwhile Curly Bob has gone into hiding pending the outcome of the enquiry. Meanwhile I received  a note under my door , in Bob's paw, asking me to post "Evening Light #1", an oil on canvas from pre 2010. An attempt to bring calm to a troubled area.

He's Still At It! #CurlyBobforPM

Curly Bob is still out pressing paws as he works his way around Rotten Borough. I am not sure if he is passionate about his policies or he just wants to show off his new rosette to everyone. He may be gone some while as the procedure followed by Rotten Borough for parliamentary elections are slightly different than in the rest of the U.K.

The results of the poll will not be known officially for a few days at least.  No doubt Bob will be working behind the scenes in the case of a hung parliament to secure the best deal for his constituents..( Doesn't he have to be elected first?..Ed)

Meanwhile, I have taken advantage of Bob's absence to do some posting of my own so here is "Still Life With Pears", oil on canvas board, from my pre Bob days.

Curly Bob Hits The Campaign Trail(At Last!) #CurlyBobforPM

Bob has been burning the midnight oil for weeks now toiling over his general election manifesto. He even borrowed my calculator overthe weekend muttering something about budget deficits. Clearly he has been taking the matter more seriously than I first thought.

Bob is a stand up sort of character despite his single minded nature.To be honest I wasn't sure about him standing in the U.K. General Election as a candidate for Rotten Borough for 2 main reasons.

Firstly, (and selfishly), I thought it would be a conflict of interest. I had put a lot of work into the opening of my new expanded retail unit at Botany Bay, Canal Mill, Chorley, PR6 9AF on 1 May 2015. Clearly the timing was not auspicious given the election being held tomorrow, 7 May 2015. Bob being Bob there was no problem to solve. Curly Bob believes the British public are sick and tired of the long drawn out campaign with it's acrimony and false promises. In any case they cannot possibly remember what was said 6 weeks ago by 7 or more parties. ( Perhaps Bob is a bit sharper than we first thought...Ed).

Secondly, Rotten Borough is a very difficult constituency. It was once a very happy place in which to live. Now after 5 years of austerity cuts it is a pale shadow of its former self. Generations of bears have never worked. They lie around idly waiting for the next benefit payment so they can get a quick fix of honey, ice cream or chocolate. Once the sound of the ice cream van playing some happy tune would bring bears pouring out of the houses for a chocolate wafer or an ice cream cornet packed with ice cream(none of that whipped rubbish!). Now there are only the echoes of the tune around the empty streets as the van driver leaves sadly with his wares untouched. Can a single bear turn this around? I have my doubts but perhaps Bob can do it where others have failed.

When he emerged from his room this morning I expected him to be dragging out a huge weighty document. Instead he had a single piece of A5 in his paw. Its contents were very simple:-

•  The party is to be called "Curly Bob For P.M. "..(This level of humility could achieve sainthood...Ed)
• Free ice cream for all bears
• Ice cream, chocolate and honey benefit payments to be trebled.
• Every bear to be given the chance of a job in the ice cream, honey and chocolate factories to be created to meet the demand from the said benefit increases.
• A limit to be imposed on the expected influx of foreign bears seeking the above ice cream etc.
• All bears in prison to be released on licence provided they perform community service e.g. picking up discarded ice cream/chocolate wrappers for recycling.
•  Any Bear refusing to work will be flogged publicly???( I need to have a word on this one..Ed)
• Rotten Borough to leave the E.U.

That said Curly Bob is new to the murky world of politics. I asked him to state his view on how he could use his vote to extract concessions from any coalition of parties. Bobs strategy is very simple. Ice cream for British bears. (He is not fussy about where the said ice cream is made). He seems to be on good terms with bears in most of the U.K. except Scotland. He has no intention of entering into any pact with bears north of the border if they insist in changing any of the above.

Further questions on the question of how these promises were going to be funded led to reporters being bundled out of the press conference. Watch this space for a follow up on this one.

As to leaving the E.U. I mentioned that Rotten Borough is not in the E.U. so the Bears Rights Act didn't apply. However, public flogging still seems a bit extreme. Bob's reply that this was not the time for "nimby politics". I must confess I had no idea he could be so single minded.

He plans to tour his constituency from end to end over the next 24 hours to get the voters out by all means available. The world waits with baited breath for the outcome. A press conference is scheduled for tomorrow providing we can track Bob down.

Meanwhile Bob has not taken his eye off the artistic ball and has emailed from his battle bus that I should post "Le Sentier", acrylic on canvas, 2015.