Monday, 15 June 2015

Rotten Borough's New BMP Unveiled !

Having been duly elected by the populace of the said borough Curly Bob is now a serving Member of Parliament for the next 5 years or at least that is the plan.Before embarking on a resume of the election's aftermath Bob has asked me to post "Sunrise, Snowdon Horseshoe", an oil on canvas from several years ago following one of our many happy holidays in North Wales.



Journalistic hacks have been hounding Bob ever since the rumours concerning the election count reared their ugly head. At first it was thought to be merely sour grapes by Bob's opponents. That was until one of the more knowledgeable, (more like more sober ...Ed), residents of Rotten Borough pointed out that there were no other opponents.

Furthermore some closer scrutiny of the Borough electoral roll showed there were just 689 residents of voting age whereas the total number of votes cast for Curly Bob  were in excess of 8000!

Even the slowest of our residents could see that there was something amiss. Once the hacks could smelled blood there was no stopping them. A little more digging revealed that in the total figure of 8216 were the following items:-

Google followers    2100

Twitter followers  1250

Facebook Friends    166

Pinterest followers   50

Residents             3566

Clearly Rotten Borough was living up to its's name. Whilst writing this blog I have endeavoured to avoid using expletives and 4 letter words  but Rotten Borough appears to be in a worse state than F***, the infamous football body run until recently by Septic Splatter. No doubt further revelations are pending.

All that said Bob was not allowing anything to spoil his victory celebrations. He can be seen below enjoying a glass of his favourite "Hobgoblin" like a true "Bear of The People".


Saturday, 6 June 2015

A Result at Last!

After weeks of uncertainty Rotten Borough has at last produced an election result. Rumours were rife that the count was rigged and ballot boxes had been tampered with. This was not entirely surprising as as the consituency does not have the name of Rotten Borough  for nothing.

Either way Curly Bob's fans & followers will be pleased to know that Bob has been duly returned as B.M.P. for the aforesaid borough. Celebrations at Curly Bob's party office went on late into last night and beyond. No doubt Bob will hold a press conference, in due course,  to thank his tireless campaign staff for all their efforts in helping him achieve his first electoral success.

Bob appeared this morning looking vey much the worse for wear. He took time out in his search for a hangover cure to ask me to post "Paradise #2", an oil on canvas from 2013. He felt something upbeat was in order and in keeping with the warm weather currently being enjoyed here in the U.K.


The paprazzi were out in force and despite the threat of litigation and worse it is expected that photos will emerge from the allmighty knees up held at campaign H.Q. last week. Bob is so pleased with the result he still refuses to take off his rosette. I have pointed out to him thet if it gets dirty and he persists then he will be going into the wash with it. He is giving the matter some serious thought.