Still Missing!

Curly Bob is still A.W.O.L. but I am not unduly worried. I have tracked his IPad to a very exclusive part of Paris. The absence of any demands for money and/or any goings on in the City of Light suggest that Bob is behaving himself, at least for now.(That will be a first - Ed) 

The local papers carry headlines such as "Ou est Monsieur Le Bob?" or "Curly Bob Est Disparu!" but apart from that very little else. 

I suspect Bob is lying low until the heat dies down and then he will quietly make his reappearance in the U.K. Bob is not well known for subtlety or tact(They are not qualities with which Bob has ever been blessed-Ed)but he does have charm in abundance. This probably accounts for why he has never been found in a pool of kapok with his throat cut.

All I receive from him is a stream of terse instructions, via his specially adapted IPad, as to what I must do. The latest one bids me to post "Flooded Forest", an oil on board from the vaults.

The Bear Vanishes!

Just when I thought we were going to have Curly Bob back home safe and sound he has disappeared again. It seems he caught the TGV from Avignon but never arrived in Paris. The Gendarmerie are combing the streets of Paris as they do not believe he got off the train in between there and Avignon as the train doesn't stop between the two cities.

S.N.C.F. staff took the train to pieces starting with the most likely places (i.e. the bars- Ed) he was last seen in a buffet bar in 1st class regaling the crowd of onlookers and fans with his adventures. Several of them were journalists hoping for an exclusive interview. His witty dialogue was lubricated with copious free drinks and honey cocktails.

Everyone present does not remembers seeing him or anything else by the time the train reached Paris due to the excess of alcohol consumed by the happy gathering.

It is said the Gendarmerie have been told to locate Bob so they can make sure he actually leaves the country via Eurostar and doesn't embarrass the French government any further.

I received a missive from Bob a few minutes telling me not to worry and that he was safe and in good company.(this has to be in a honey den, bar or with a blonde or possibly all three!). As always, Bob knows his loyal fans are waiting for his next epic installment, so he has asked me to have me publish "Fence Post #1", a charcoal study.

More on his antics as soon as we know where he is.....

Scandal in Paris!

At last, the intense media speculation concerning Curly Bob's "punitive" prison regime has proved too much for the French Government. A reliable source inside the Elysee Palace has disclosed that they could not be seen to admit to this so a cover story was needed to divert attention from Bob.

Last week they "leaked" a story concerning the French President. Allegedly he had been spotted making trips to a notorious "boite d'or( A honey den disguised as a night club nightclub) near to the Elysee Palace in Paris.

Apparently he has been accompanied by a massive brute of a bodyguard who is also quite partial to a spoonful or two of Yucatan Gold or Orange Blossom Honey!

Clearly this state of affairs could not continue. The Prime Minister has repeatedly stated that his level of honey consumption is a private matter but this did not satisfy the press.

French journalists have explained to me that the French public is far more tolerant of such goings on than here in the U.K. They are far more concerned about the state of the French economy and in particular the shortages of honey which has pushed the street price through the roof. The average Frenchman or woman has had to resort to using sugar in their tea and coffee("Ughh" - Curly Bob). Bears all over France are threatening to take to the streets.

Therefore Curly Bob has had his community service order quashed, allegedly for good behavior. He was bundled out of pokey late last night and was fairly disgruntled because he had missed his bedtime story!

He was whisked away by car to an unknown destination sporting his favourite R.N.L.I. sweater and IPad tucked under his paw. Needless to say Bob was not allowed to comment to the press camped outside the prison.

I have been informed that once his documents are in order he will be free to leave (more like deported- Ed) and we shall have him safely back at home. Hopefully I can then get back to some painting. Speaking of which, I have instructions to post "Farmhouse, Grotte, Sicily #2" a watercolour from 2006. 

Rumours of Imminent Release

Sources from inside Avignon Prison strongly suggest that our hero will be parting company with the prison and Happy bees Honey Farm in the very near future.

Needless to say I do not wish to raise false hopes, especially among Bob's younger readers but let's just say a party is being planned.

Pending further developments Bob has asked me to post "Farm House, Grotte, Sicily #1, oil on canvas from 2004"

Curious Events At The Prison!

Curly Bob’s avid fans will be surprised, (or not as the case may be), to hear that the prison where Bob is currently serving his community service order has been the subject of several attempted break ins.

Official sources were saying very little yesterday. However one of our contacts inside the jail confirmed numerous bears has been arrested while trying to get inside the prison. It is thought they were honey addicts who can be spotted easily by their glazed eyes and craving for anything vaguely resembling honey. They can become desperate characters when deprived of their daily fix and are a great nuisance to bee keepers all over France.

Sounds of digging were heard within the prison last night. The C.R.S.,( a well known bunch of heavies & thugs in uniform)were summoned immediately. 

At 2 a.m. CET a gang of professional honey robbers,(bears one & all)  were arrested as they emerged from their tunnel under the prison wall. A desperate struggle ensued with bits of fur flying everywhere. It transpired they were the dreaded outfit known as “Les Pates D’Or” (lit “The Golden Paws”). An evil bunch from the roughest toy shops in the backstreets of Marseille. Their name is derived from their love of amber coloured honey or any other for that matter.

Our source also confirms the French authorities are reconsidering their position regarding the deterrent nature of the prison regime across France in the light of these developments. Apparently one suggestion was to withdraw the provision of honey, ice cream etc and cancel all bed time stories from French jails but this was dismissed for fear of rioting.

Another answer might be to grant Bob an early release, ostensibly on the grounds of good behaviour, thus removing the glare of publicity from the prison regime. This is being considered as we speak.

During this furore, Bob is , as always, completely oblivious to all these concerns. He continues with his duties at the Happy bees Honey Farm. We didn’t get him home for Christmas after all but we are hopeful he will be back with us soon.

Meanwhile he has emailed to wish all his fans a Happy/Honey New Year and  requested I post “Farmhouse in the Luberon #4”, an oil from 2012.

Home for Christmas?

Following recent developments at Avignon prison, where Curly Bob is currently under lock and key, I can reveal to his loyal fans and followers that there is a faint chance Bob may be back with us for Christmas. We don't want to give false hope to his thousands of supporters but we are cautiously optimistic.

Confidential sources state that Bob may be repatriated( deported ..Ed) under an amnesty granted  to bears such as Bob(are there any others??), by the French authorities. There is more to this story than that but I am prevented from publishing any further details until Bob is safely back with us.



Also he wishes everyone a Merry Christmas and a Honey New Year!

Appeal Denied

As expected, Curly Bob's appeal has been denied. To Bob's apparent amazement it seems the Presiding Magistrate did not agree with the argument's of his legal team that prison life for Bob was overly harsh and a breach of the B.R.A.(Bear Right's Act)

Indeed his attitude to wandering foreign bears was infinitely harder than current E.U. laws would permit him to be. Personally he was in favour of having such bears flogged publicly as a deterrent to others. Sources close to him have described his outlook as being somewhere between hanging/deportation and the dungeons & enaemas brigade(gulp!..Ed)

He pronounced Bob's appeal as "frivolous" and increased his sentence at "The Happy Bees Honey Farm" by 100 hours. When asked if Bob had anything to say Bob merely stated that the judge was "a horrid person" and thanked him for his extended sentence!

Bob's not so cunning plan has been revealed at last. He was smiling as he skipped out of the court after having a note passed to me.

One of Bob's fans, Teun Beumer, has asked for another one of the series of 5 paintings, based on Le Luberon, to be published. 

Always happy to please his fans, Bob's wish is my command hence "Farm in The Luberon #3", an oil on canvas from 2012.