Rumours of Imminent Release

Sources from inside Avignon Prison strongly suggest that our hero will be parting company with the prison and Happy bees Honey Farm in the very near future.

Needless to say I do not wish to raise false hopes, especially among Bob's younger readers but let's just say a party is being planned.

Pending further developments Bob has asked me to post "Farm House, Grotte, Sicily #1, oil on canvas from 2004"

Curious Events At The Prison!

Curly Bob’s avid fans will be surprised, (or not as the case may be), to hear that the prison where Bob is currently serving his community service order has been the subject of several attempted break ins.

Official sources were saying very little yesterday. However one of our contacts inside the jail confirmed numerous bears has been arrested while trying to get inside the prison. It is thought they were honey addicts who can be spotted easily by their glazed eyes and craving for anything vaguely resembling honey. They can become desperate characters when deprived of their daily fix and are a great nuisance to bee keepers all over France.

Sounds of digging were heard within the prison last night. The C.R.S.,( a well known bunch of heavies & thugs in uniform)were summoned immediately. 

At 2 a.m. CET a gang of professional honey robbers,(bears one & all)  were arrested as they emerged from their tunnel under the prison wall. A desperate struggle ensued with bits of fur flying everywhere. It transpired they were the dreaded outfit known as “Les Pates D’Or” (lit “The Golden Paws”). An evil bunch from the roughest toy shops in the backstreets of Marseille. Their name is derived from their love of amber coloured honey or any other for that matter.

Our source also confirms the French authorities are reconsidering their position regarding the deterrent nature of the prison regime across France in the light of these developments. Apparently one suggestion was to withdraw the provision of honey, ice cream etc and cancel all bed time stories from French jails but this was dismissed for fear of rioting.

Another answer might be to grant Bob an early release, ostensibly on the grounds of good behaviour, thus removing the glare of publicity from the prison regime. This is being considered as we speak.

During this furore, Bob is , as always, completely oblivious to all these concerns. He continues with his duties at the Happy bees Honey Farm. We didn’t get him home for Christmas after all but we are hopeful he will be back with us soon.

Meanwhile he has emailed to wish all his fans a Happy/Honey New Year and  requested I post “Farmhouse in the Luberon #4”, an oil from 2012.

Home for Christmas?

Following recent developments at Avignon prison, where Curly Bob is currently under lock and key, I can reveal to his loyal fans and followers that there is a faint chance Bob may be back with us for Christmas. We don't want to give false hope to his thousands of supporters but we are cautiously optimistic.

Confidential sources state that Bob may be repatriated( deported ..Ed) under an amnesty granted  to bears such as Bob(are there any others??), by the French authorities. There is more to this story than that but I am prevented from publishing any further details until Bob is safely back with us.



Also he wishes everyone a Merry Christmas and a Honey New Year!

Appeal Denied

As expected, Curly Bob's appeal has been denied. To Bob's apparent amazement it seems the Presiding Magistrate did not agree with the argument's of his legal team that prison life for Bob was overly harsh and a breach of the B.R.A.(Bear Right's Act)

Indeed his attitude to wandering foreign bears was infinitely harder than current E.U. laws would permit him to be. Personally he was in favour of having such bears flogged publicly as a deterrent to others. Sources close to him have described his outlook as being somewhere between hanging/deportation and the dungeons & enaemas brigade(gulp!..Ed)

He pronounced Bob's appeal as "frivolous" and increased his sentence at "The Happy Bees Honey Farm" by 100 hours. When asked if Bob had anything to say Bob merely stated that the judge was "a horrid person" and thanked him for his extended sentence!

Bob's not so cunning plan has been revealed at last. He was smiling as he skipped out of the court after having a note passed to me.

One of Bob's fans, Teun Beumer, has asked for another one of the series of 5 paintings, based on Le Luberon, to be published. 

Always happy to please his fans, Bob's wish is my command hence "Farm in The Luberon #3", an oil on canvas from 2012. 

Appeal to The High Court

Curly Bob's legal team have today lodged an appeal to the High Court in Paris. They had warned Bob that if his appeal were regarded as "frivolous", it could result in an increase in his sentence. Bob appeared completely untroubled by this and has instructed them to proceed regardless of the possible consequences.

It appears Bob plans to cite the punitive nature of the regime in his community service hostel,( it sounds better than prison) as follows:-

8.00  Reveille, breakfast of porridge, honey and pain au chocolat.

9.00  Lecture on practical bee keeping for bears.

10.00  Hive maintainance and honey collection at "The Happy Bees Honey Farm".

12.00  Lunch - chocolate waffles, honey & ice cream.

14.00  Recreational/ rest period.

15.30  Fur grooming (I didn't ask).

16.00  Supervised duties including stock taking in warehouse at Happy bees Honey farm.

18.00  Kitchen duties and serving of desserts.

19.00  T.V. / Computer usage.

21.00  Cookies/brownies & glass of milk.

22.00  Bedtime story (?????)

22.30  Lights out.

I could only shake my head in disbelief and wonder if Bob was entirely devoid of any concept of irony(including everything else). Alternatively he could be smarter than the average bear and had something up his sleeve apart from his electronic tag.

I feel that Bob's total focus on all things pertaining to chocolate, honey, ice cream etc has blinded him to the fact that he migt not be home for Christmas.

Pending the penny or centime dropping I have been asked to post "Farmhouse in The Luberon #2 ", one of a series of 5 oils I did in 2012/13. 

Bob Bears Up Behind Bars!

A few days after Bob's conviction I was allowed to visit to see how he was doing. The warder(who in all fairness does not know Bob very well) had allowed him to wear his best lifeboat jumper as acknowledgement of his good behaviour during his community service. Also he is allowed to work without his tag during daylight hours. There was even talk of promoting him to assistant to the manager of the warehouse.(No, these people will never learn - Ed.)

I found Bob on La Ferme Des Abeilles Heureuses which in English means "Happy Bees Honey Farm".

Bob was hard at work in the Provencale sunshine looking after his hives. I admit to a fair degree of surprise because I had never before seen Bob exert himself at anything that didn't come out of a glass, freezer or honey cupboard at home.

Apparently his honey and alcohol management courses were going well. He was down to one teaspoon of honey per day and had refrained from helping himself from the hives.

He seemed to have lost weight and his fur was in much better condition.  

Bob has been using his time well, in his free periods, to improve his management skills. He has even pawed up for a cake making course.
(Forward Note - if I ever take to a life of crime I will definitely rob a bank in France- Ed). I still haven't worked out what Bob is up to but I hope to have discovered his dark secret before the next missive.

Free Curly Bob!

The French authorities have received an avalanche of(well several actually) demands to release Curly Bob. By some underhand means Bob obtained copies of these and forwarded them on to me yesterday.

Bob's regular readers will be aware that this intrepid bear is never slow to spot any opportunity that presents itself.

During a Skpe exchange Bob felt a protest group should be formed to seek his release by putting pressure on the French government.
With his usual boundless modesty and sense of proportion Bob has suggested it be called "Freedom For Oppressed bears" or F.F.O.B

His proposed setup would be as follows:-

C.E.O. - Curly Bob

Head of Finance - Curly Bob

Head of Recruitment  - Curly Bob

Head of Human Resources - Curly Bob

Secretary & General Gopher - Myself

Bob's loyal fans will also remember the dreadful scandal concerning rumours of irregularities regarding  honey and chocolate collected on his behalf. It was intended this
mountain of donated honey etc would be used to pay the ransom demanded by (Las Patas Negras"(The Black Paws) following their dastardly kidnap of Bob in the Yucatan jungle.

I warned Bob of the risk of further damage to his reputation so he very reluctantly agreed that F.F.O.B will not see the light of day, for now at least.

Whilst relieved another PR disaster had been avoid I had a lingering suspicion that Bob was up to something. That twinkle in his eye usually spelled trouble for him and a lot of work for me.

It was 9.00 a.m. and Bob was due at his lecture on "Practical Bee Keeping For Bears Pt 7". The severity of the penal system in France never ceases to amaze me!

Before signing off(More like sciving off ...Ed) Bob directed that I post "Farmhouse, Provence", (long) after Van Gogh, an oil on canvas from the vault2.