Back in Good Old Blighty!

After some negotiations between our legal team and the prosecuting magistrate it was agreed that we couldn't be held responsible for Curly Bob's behaviour but the hotel bill still needed to be settled. A few phone calls later and I had arranged for the sale of several of my paintings the proceeds of which were promised to be paid over to settle Bob's outstanding hotel bill for his room and bar.

It seems we were believed that  we had absolutely no idea as to Bob's whereabouts. I made it quite clear that when I found Bob the Gendarmerie were the last thing he needed to worry about! I was cautioned that any violence committed against Bob would be treated as a criminal offence although they readily accepted that I had been provoked severely. I decided to settle accounts with Bob if and when he returned home.

On the way back to the U.K. I received several anonymous emails from Bob one of which suggested I post "Edna's Cat" - a work in mixed media from some years past.

Curly Bob Fait Un Clair de Lune (Curly Bob Does a "Moonlight")

One night in the middle of our holiday in the South of France we were woken up by the sound of someone tapping softly on our bedroom window. Initially I assumed it was a bird or other small animal then I remembered we were on the 4th floor. As I drew the curtains imagine my astonishment to see Bob dangling from a rope of knotted bed sheets. At first I thought he was escaping from a fire of from hordes of his fans.

However, the shameful truth was that Bob had run out of money. The hotel management had asked for settlement of the substantial (i.e. enormous) bar and room bill first thing the next morning or the Gendarmes would be summoned.(Cripes!) I said I would pay settle them with my credit cards but Bob told me not to bother because they had already been refused for exceeding their credit limits.

Given the desperate situation and risk to his international reputation I agreed to allow him to hide in my art satchel until we reached the rail station but after that he would have to act independently.(he would have shown up on the security X - Ray at Eurostar in  Paris.)

We went on a trip to a local village and smuggled him out past a very unhappy hotel manager who looked very unhappy as he spoke to someone on the phone repeating the phrase "disparu!, disparu!" As we walked past some of the hotel bears sat on a shelf I noted they looked particularly bleary eyed, no doubt after a farewell party.

We left him at the rail station and said our farewells. I wasn't unduly concerned as Bob is a seasoned traveler and can cope with most situations especially as I gave him a substantial amount of our remaining Euros.
Our day passed very pleasantly but on our return to the hotel we were astonished to see Bob's mugshot on posters plastered all over the town. At the hotel we were met by the hotel manager and  two of France's finest who wanted to know Bob's whereabouts. We feigned surprise but the rope of bed sheets outside of our bedroom window was a fatal flaw in our story. The bracelets were then slapped on us and within seconds we were being driven to the local pokey(prison to our readers abroad..Ed) We were charged with aiding and abetting a fugitive.

While languishing in my cell I was allowed to keep my I Pad(very liberal these French jails!). Bob tweeted me from somewhere in Provence and told me not to worry and to post the following painting "Dolpadarn Castle, Llanberis  " - an oil on canvas. I replied to tell Bob that the only worry was that I was going to wring his neck if I ever regained my freedom!

Curly Bob Heads South

We were under the impression that Curly Bob was staying at home to relax (i.e. to detox) after his recent trip to Paris with his punishing business agenda, (more likely all the excesses that The City Of Light can offer - Ed).

Therefore it was something of a surprise when I saw a porter in our hotel carrying a small mountain of bear sized suitcases very similar to those used by Bob when abroad. The porter asked us if we wanted the cases sent to our room on the 5th floor with the best view. We assumed this was a mistake as we were on the 4th. 

Apparently a suite had been reserved in our name. The following morning I rang Bob before breakfast. I invited him to stay with us but he said "not to worry" as he was very comfortable in his suite and he wanted me to get plenty of sleep so I could carry on producing ideas and sketches for paintings on our return home.

On arrival in the breakfast room I looked for the display of delicious locally produced jams and honeys to have with my croissants. They are kept in large jars. However to my dismay they were all almost empty and looked like they had been the victim of a horde of locusts (Do locusts eat jam or honey? - Ed) 

When I asked the staff member on duty he replied with a resigned shrug of the shoulders and rolled his eyes upwards with a very Gallic flourish. Other people may have thought he was seeking divine inspiration but I knew different.

On the way back to our room I was called aside by the manager who asked me to have a word with Bob. I agreed and rang Bob to ask if he could show a little consideration to his fellow guests by reducing his honey intake, turning down his music after midnight and certainly before 2 a.m. In addition his habit of tossing empty beer and wine  bottles out of the window was neither ecologically sound nor good for the health of the people passing by.

Bob was not impressed but agreed to leave some  honey and jam in future. (Personally I don't know what he does with such vast amounts of honey, jam and alcohol but for the benefits of his fans of a younger or more delicate disposition we will not dwell on the matter!)

We heard very little from Bob for several days apart from emails, tweets etc, one of which was a request for me to post "Dinorwig Slate Quarry, llanberis in winter" - an oil on canvas, not of Provence but certainly in a colour scheme not unknown to the area.

Apologies to Bob's Fans

Curly Bob called a business meeting yesterday to discuss marketing strategy up to and beyond Christmas 2013. My painting duties were laid out. I did try and explain to Bob that all artists need their rest and the occasional beverage( we are not talking about tea or coffee at this point). Bob felt such things were a distraction and should be avoided.

Given Bob's predeliction towards any form of alcohol I felt this was a bit rich. I pointed out that whilst he  had been enjoying his sojourn in Paris for the best part of a month  he had been neglecting his fans around the world , especially those on Google. One had even suggested he might have run off to the circus with me. 

This remark ruffled Bob's fur somewhat. He accepted, albeit reluctantly, that he could have done better. He now feels a marketing onslaught on Google is called for with some posts this week. I asked him how I am supposed to paint when instead I am passing on his messages to the world and it's mother. Bob considers this sort of talk negative and unproductive. He expressed great confidence in my abilities and was sure I would manage somehow. I am beginning to consider calling a couple of circuses to see if they have any vacancies....

Meanwhile here is "Crows in Winter #3" an oil on canvas to placate his Google followers:-

Vanbear7 

pp Curly Bob

Bonjour Mes Amis!

Curly Bob has been away in Paris for the last 3 weeks but has been requesting progress reports on my activities every couple of days. I am beginning to regret buying him the bear friendly I Pad for his last birthday.
I was allowed a week off to visit Paris but I didn't see anything of him there.

In the heatwave I have been finding working difficult when I have used solvents in my oil painting. I also use a lot of mediums to accelerate paint drying times to keep up with Bob's schedule.

As these are taking a toll on my chest Bob has graciously allowed me to switch to acrylics for indoor use. I was moved by this kind gesture until Bob let slip that acrylics dry faster, therefore more output!

The conversion work has been completed and painting starts on Monday. Bob will be back tomorrow and wants to inspect my work.

During his absence I have received a number of messages in French which contained both long numbers and writing. At first I thought they were telephone numbers. However on translating them I realised that they were bar bills. One of them was to mark the 1100th member of Bob's ever increasing Fan Club.

Apparently Bob has been hanging out, (i.e. partying) in Monmartre for over 3 weeks. He claims he has been seeking connections to enhance my career in the art world. To do so Bob feels entertainment is a necessary evil when promoting artists.

I tried to explain to him that entertaining prospective clients in a modest manner is one thing but drowning then in alcohol is quite another!

When I spoke to him via Skype yesterday I noticed a few flecks of oil paint around his ears which I believe are souvenirs of several visits to La Place du Tetre. There is a rumour that he had his portrait painted but more on that later.

His plane landed on Thursday and he promises to have loads of new ideas for my future paintings.

His last request from the City of Light was for me to post the following 2 works called

"Crows in Winter#2" - oil on canvas inspired by Claude Debigny"

and "Dinorwig Slate Quarry, LLanberis" - also oil on canvas from one of my own photos.

Cordialement

Vanbear7 & Curly Bob

He's Gone!

Curly Bob has at long last recovered from his severe dose of bear flu. Readers will recall that his doctor (Rodger, "The Dodgy Doctor Bear") only carries out visits at a distance to avoid catching anything off his patients. Doctor Bears are not bound by any oath which explains this bizarre behaviour and the extortionate fees he charges.
Given Bob's love of technology I suggested he consult Roger via Skype using his specially adapted IPad. I am sorry to say that Bobs technical leaning was to be his undoing. Roger quickly assessed that Bob had been in bed for far too long. His fur had become a little matted and worse still that Roger diagnosed an excess of kapok i.e. Bob was stacking the proverbial bit of timber.
Roger prescribed a severe diet with honey, ice cream and chocolate being off the menu until Christmas. He also felt Bob's fur would look better if he was to feel the benefit of a cool wash and 600 rpm spin in the washing machine. Bob was out of bed in seconds and grabbed his passport. He left without further ado for a holiday to recover. He didn't say where he was going but I suspect it was to be somewhere without any washing machines.
He did leave a note asking me to post the following 2 paintings which are 

"Cote de Provence" an oil on canvas 

and "Coverack Beach #2" which is also an oil on canvas.

More news on Curly Bob as soon as he contacts me.

Regards

Vanbear7

pp Curly Bob

Call the Doctor!

I was awoken this morning at an unearthly hour.  It was no surprise to hear Curly Bob's very faint voice. Unlike most other bears Bob keeps vey unsociable hours. Frequently he works throughout the night after sustaining himself with a couple of Mars Bars and lots of his favourite  alcohol (any in fact).

It seems he has caught a nasty dose of bear flu. In fact he has not been himself for a couple of weeks now. He has been off his honey & chocolate (always a bad sign). Also he has not instructed me to post anything for over 2 weeks, hence my silence on the blogging and social networking fronts.

I called “Rodger, The Dodgy Doctor Bear” (so called because he has never been known to make house calls or see patients in case he catches anything from them). The consultation was brief and to the point. Bob is ill (full marks) and he should stay in bed until a full recovery takes place.

Apparently I have to check Bobs fur daily for signs of clamminess or mould. If that occurs the only cure is a salt dip! I explained it would be a brave soul who attempted to rummage through Bob’s fur, clammy or not. As for taking his temperature it will be his ears or worse.

Liberal amounts of hot toddies are prescribed i.e. hot water, honey, lemon and whiskey (minus the lemon and easy on the hot water).

On a positive note Bob has asked me to post the following 2 paintings  for your consideration.

These are :

“Commission” – oil on canvas

and;

“Cornfield, Impression”

 

Bob is unaware that I have been keeping stats on his international following on all social networks. He has 959 fans at the time of going to press, We are planning a surprise party when he reaches 1000 fans. All preparations are shrouded in secrecy. No doubt the art world will recognise such talent and present him with some sort of award.

Meanwhile I’m off to the supermarket to stock up on Kleenex, peppermint oil and of course whiskey and honey.

Regards

vanbear7 pp Curly Bob