Bob Up Before The Beak!

Curly Bob stood before the beak in Avignon yesterday. He was advised to plead guilty to reduce his sentence. His lawyer had thought about citing Bob’s previous conduct but then thought better of it.

Everyone accepted Bob’s good character and how he has worked tirelessly, (at least some of the time), in promoting my career and sales of paintings to raise money for charities.

When asked if he had anything to say Bob threw himself on the mercy of the court. In his defence he had not realised how honey, chocolate, ice cream and alcohol were so much more expensive in France than the U.K. It was because of this Bob had not realised the enormity of the debts he was running up.

Unsurprisingly the Magistrate was not too impressed by this. Perhaps if Bob had not sampled the delights of the wines & beers of Provence so much he might have noticed waiters staggering around resembling Quasimodo with massive trays of drinks etc. Several were thinking of suing Bob in connection with physiotherapy bills.

Having considered all the options he declared Bob guilty on all counts and a menace to the tourist trade. He went on to admit it was the saddest case of a bear being led astray by others of lower moral character (Clearly the Magistrate was delusional..Ed).

He was sentenced to 200 hours of unpaid community service at “La Ferme des Abeilles Heureuses” , “The Happy Bees Honey Farm” to help with the hives. (Will these people never learn?)

In addition Bob was ordered to attend a honey management course and an alcohol management course. Finally he would have to remain in France for the duration of his sentence. Any relapse in his behaviour would result in transportation to Devil’s Islands where it is well known that the spiders and other creepy crawlies are twice the size of those in the Yucatan. This definitely seemed to get Bob’s attention.

Bob would be allowed to keep his bear friendly IPad but had to wear an electronic tag on his lower left paw. I would be allowed to visit him on a regular basis. The magistrate concluded by expressing his hope that the sentence would be a deterrent to future freeloaders and “honey tourists”

Before being taken down Bob waved and asked me to post “Evening Light #2" an oil on canvas from many years ago. A touch of peace in troubled times.