Curly Bob is still A.W.O.L. but I am not unduly worried. I have tracked his IPad to a very exclusive part of Paris. The absence of any demands for money and/or any goings on in the City of Light suggest that Bob is behaving himself, at least for now.(That will be a first - Ed)
The local papers carry headlines such as "Ou est Monsieur Le Bob?" or "Curly Bob Est Disparu!" but apart from that very little else.
I suspect Bob is lying low until the heat dies down and then he will quietly make his reappearance in the U.K. Bob is not well known for subtlety or tact(They are not qualities with which Bob has ever been blessed-Ed)but he does have charm in abundance. This probably accounts for why he has never been found in a pool of kapok with his throat cut.
All I receive from him is a stream of terse instructions, via his specially adapted IPad, as to what I must do. The latest one bids me to post "Flooded Forest", an oil on board from the vaults.
Just when I thought we were going to have Curly Bob back home safe and sound he has disappeared again. It seems he caught the TGV from Avignon but never arrived in Paris. The Gendarmerie are combing the streets of Paris as they do not believe he got off the train in between there and Avignon as the train doesn't stop between the two cities.
S.N.C.F. staff took the train to pieces starting with the most likely places (i.e. the bars- Ed) he was last seen in a buffet bar in 1st class regaling the crowd of onlookers and fans with his adventures. Several of them were journalists hoping for an exclusive interview. His witty dialogue was lubricated with copious free drinks and honey cocktails.
Everyone present does not remembers seeing him or anything else by the time the train reached Paris due to the excess of alcohol consumed by the happy gathering.
It is said the Gendarmerie have been told to locate Bob so they can make sure he actually leaves the country via Eurostar and doesn't embarrass the French government any further.
I received a missive from Bob a few minutes telling me not to worry and that he was safe and in good company.(this has to be in a honey den, bar or with a blonde or possibly all three!). As always, Bob knows his loyal fans are waiting for his next epic installment, so he has asked me to have me publish "Fence Post #1", a charcoal study.
More on his antics as soon as we know where he is.....
At last, the intense media speculation concerning Curly Bob's "punitive" prison regime has proved too much for the French Government. A reliable source inside the Elysee Palace has disclosed that they could not be seen to admit to this so a cover story was needed to divert attention from Bob.
Last week they "leaked" a story concerning the French President. Allegedly he had been spotted making trips to a notorious "boite d'or( A honey den disguised as a night club nightclub) near to the Elysee Palace in Paris.
Apparently he has been accompanied by a massive brute of a bodyguard who is also quite partial to a spoonful or two of Yucatan Gold or Orange Blossom Honey!
Clearly this state of affairs could not continue. The Prime Minister has repeatedly stated that his level of honey consumption is a private matter but this did not satisfy the press.
French journalists have explained to me that the French public is far more tolerant of such goings on than here in the U.K. They are far more concerned about the state of the French economy and in particular the shortages of honey which has pushed the street price through the roof. The average Frenchman or woman has had to resort to using sugar in their tea and coffee("Ughh" - Curly Bob). Bears all over France are threatening to take to the streets.
Therefore Curly Bob has had his community service order quashed, allegedly for good behavior. He was bundled out of pokey late last night and was fairly disgruntled because he had missed his bedtime story!
He was whisked away by car to an unknown destination sporting his favourite R.N.L.I. sweater and IPad tucked under his paw. Needless to say Bob was not allowed to comment to the press camped outside the prison.
I have been informed that once his documents are in order he will be free to leave (more like deported- Ed) and we shall have him safely back at home. Hopefully I can then get back to some painting. Speaking of which, I have instructions to post "Farmhouse, Grotte, Sicily #2" a watercolour from 2006.
