He's Gone!

Curly Bob has at long last recovered from his severe dose of bear flu. Readers will recall that his doctor (Rodger, "The Dodgy Doctor Bear") only carries out visits at a distance to avoid catching anything off his patients. Doctor Bears are not bound by any oath which explains this bizarre behaviour and the extortionate fees he charges.
Given Bob's love of technology I suggested he consult Roger via Skype using his specially adapted IPad. I am sorry to say that Bobs technical leaning was to be his undoing. Roger quickly assessed that Bob had been in bed for far too long. His fur had become a little matted and worse still that Roger diagnosed an excess of kapok i.e. Bob was stacking the proverbial bit of timber.
Roger prescribed a severe diet with honey, ice cream and chocolate being off the menu until Christmas. He also felt Bob's fur would look better if he was to feel the benefit of a cool wash and 600 rpm spin in the washing machine. Bob was out of bed in seconds and grabbed his passport. He left without further ado for a holiday to recover. He didn't say where he was going but I suspect it was to be somewhere without any washing machines.
He did leave a note asking me to post the following 2 paintings which are 

"Cote de Provence" an oil on canvas 

and "Coverack Beach #2" which is also an oil on canvas.

More news on Curly Bob as soon as he contacts me.

Regards

Vanbear7

pp Curly Bob

Call the Doctor!

I was awoken this morning at an unearthly hour.  It was no surprise to hear Curly Bob's very faint voice. Unlike most other bears Bob keeps vey unsociable hours. Frequently he works throughout the night after sustaining himself with a couple of Mars Bars and lots of his favourite  alcohol (any in fact).

It seems he has caught a nasty dose of bear flu. In fact he has not been himself for a couple of weeks now. He has been off his honey & chocolate (always a bad sign). Also he has not instructed me to post anything for over 2 weeks, hence my silence on the blogging and social networking fronts.

I called “Rodger, The Dodgy Doctor Bear” (so called because he has never been known to make house calls or see patients in case he catches anything from them). The consultation was brief and to the point. Bob is ill (full marks) and he should stay in bed until a full recovery takes place.

Apparently I have to check Bobs fur daily for signs of clamminess or mould. If that occurs the only cure is a salt dip! I explained it would be a brave soul who attempted to rummage through Bob’s fur, clammy or not. As for taking his temperature it will be his ears or worse.

Liberal amounts of hot toddies are prescribed i.e. hot water, honey, lemon and whiskey (minus the lemon and easy on the hot water).

On a positive note Bob has asked me to post the following 2 paintings  for your consideration.

These are :

“Commission” – oil on canvas

and;

“Cornfield, Impression”

 

Bob is unaware that I have been keeping stats on his international following on all social networks. He has 959 fans at the time of going to press, We are planning a surprise party when he reaches 1000 fans. All preparations are shrouded in secrecy. No doubt the art world will recognise such talent and present him with some sort of award.

Meanwhile I’m off to the supermarket to stock up on Kleenex, peppermint oil and of course whiskey and honey.

Regards

vanbear7 pp Curly Bob

Arrested at the Airport !!

A phone call from Curly Bob trashed any hope I had of a quiet night’s painting. Apparently he had arrived back in the U.K. but was stopped at the airport by H.M. Customs who asked to look inside his numerous bags.  Bob has been enjoying his celebrity status a bit too much of late because he demanded to know if the Customs official knew who he was dealing with. The official (obviously an ill informed moron) did not.

Bob then proceeded to throw a bear sized wobbler and berate all the staff leading to his prompt arrest. He was thrown into pokey to cool off. He was grilled for several hours as to why his luggage contained 50kg of Yucatan honey which they believed was being smuggled into the country. Bob’s story that the honey was for his personal use(quite true as he never shares anything with anyone apart from colds etc.) was not believed.

He related his adventures and showed them his mangled ear. However,  as previously mentioned, the surgery had been so good that the wound was invisible. Then to Bob’s horror he was dragged to the X-Ray machine and put through it to see if he was smuggling any diamonds or precious stones. (He is now convinced all his fur will fall out and he will glow in the dark!)

The final indignity was a full strip body search. (For the sake of our younger and readers of a more delicate disposition, we shall not go into any further details). I eventually managed to secure his release in the early hours of the morning. I gave my word to guarantee  his future good  conduct and thankfully all charges have been dropped. Sadly H.M. Customs decided to confiscate his luggage pending payment of outstanding import duty.

Bob was adamant the duty must be paid and ordered me into the studio, bleary eyed,  to produce something to sell so he can reclaim his honey.   His GPB (Doctor for bears) has ordered a week of complete rest which should give me some quiet time to do some painting.

Despite the affront to his dignity Bob Bob has not lost sight of his mission in life.  As I passed his bedroom door there was a notice pinned to it directing me to publish  these 2 oils on canvas titled;-

“Castlerigg Stone Circle”

and;”Cliifs at Etretat , (after Monet) “                              

A business meeting is planned  for the start of next week, after Bob has made a full recovery.

Regards

Vanbear 7

pp Curly Bob

Outrageous Allegations

News has reached Curly Bob’s Press Office (i.e.me), with allegations Curly Bob was not bearnapped at all. These cowardly vermin claim Bob’s hostage situation in the Yucatan was staged to enhance Bob’s standing on the world stage.
Furthermore they claim that the ransom of 100kgs of honey, chocolate and ice cream was actually split between Curly Bob and Las Patas Negras (The Black Paws).
Now I’m not saying Bob is camera shy or shuns publicity. To be fair you can’t keep him away from a camera and/or microphone. However that is a far cry from staging a dangerous publicity stunt to exploit the sympathy and goodwill of bear lovers everywhere.
Curly Bob is a bear of good character who has dedicated his life to promoting my artistic career. He receives no salary or commission apart from the gift of the odd pot(s) of honey or bar(s) of chocolate from gallery owners.
This is quite a common practice in the art world to secure the exhibition of a newly discovered artist. However absolutely no money ever crosses his paws.
Bob considers the allegations to be motivated by the envy of other bears. This is not helped by his fame and more to the point his consumption of copious quantities of honey etc.
He has resolved to clear his name as soon as he is back in the U.K.
Meanwhile it is business as usual with the publishing of
“Barn, Andalucia”  and;

“Beach Scene, Portugal”
both of which are oils on canvas.
Vanbear7
pp Curly Bob

Back at Work!

Curly Bob has been discharged from hospital and has resumed his business course in Acapulco.

Thanks to the miracle of modern science Bob’s ear has now been restored and it is impossible to see the stitching. Bob gave a press conference as he was leaving hospital. Amazingly he bears(no pun intended) no bad feelings toward his captors. However he thought  their keeping his customised designer sunglasses was a bit of a liberty. A leading manufacturer of designer sunglasses kindly donated a customised pair to protect Bob’s eyes from bright sunshine and flash photography. They wish to remain anonymous which is typical of the generosity directed towards  this amazing bear.

                                                                                                

As you will see from the press photo he looks remarkably well apart from his weight increasing by a few grams.

His fur was bright and clean. Apparently he was offered  a trip to the dry cleaners plus steam cleaning or a bed bath. Personally I believe the said bed bath offered by two young and very attractive nurses decided the issue without much deliberation on Bob’s part.

He has become something of a celebrity throughout Mexico and beyond. I expect Bob will use his newly found fame to promote my activities and his management enterprise even further. To that end he has told me to publish the following works from the archive. (His Ipad is now working again so expect more posts in the future.)

The first is an abstract called “Bush Fire” which is an oil on canvas

followed by

“Cabanon Dans Les Alpilles”, an oil on canvas painted from one of Bob’s photos on his 2012 visit to Provence. It is an area Bob loves not  least for the abundant supplies of honey, ice cream, candied fruit , copious quantities of cheap wine and beer which he claims all help  the creative process for an aspiring artist.

Hopefully Bob will be back in Old Blighty by the end of next week. A business strategy meeting is planned on his return.

Vanbear7

pp Curly Bob

Free at Last

Great news from the Yucatan. Bear lovers all over the world will breathe a deep sigh of relief to know Curly Bob has been found alive.

Reports are sketchy but it seems the imminent rescue mission  by the S.B.S. (Special Bear Service) was cancelled at the last minute after the ransom was paid. Bob was found by locals, wandering down a jungle path looking very dazed and confused. He only had his bag containing his Ipad and his missing right ear.

Bob’s knowledge of Spanish has not improved much during his captivity i.e. it is still non existent.

Stories are emerging from the jungle via the locals who have sporadic contact with “Las Patas Negras”. Apparently sounds  have been heard along with flashing lights seen in the jungle all night long. Some say it was  evidence of ghostly hauntings whereas others believe it was more like signs of rave like partying.

People familiar with the desperados say they are like any other bears who all love a good party.

Teams searching for Bob reported finding heaps of discarded honey jars, chocolate wrappers and empty beer bottles scattered around the jungle. Many say that Bob was released for health reasons as  they were desperate for a good night’s sleep. Whilst these tales are unconfirmed it is known that pharmacies within a 50 kilometre radius of the suspected hideout have all run out of hangover remedies.

Bob is currently in recovery in a hospital near Acapulco having had surgery to reattach his right ear. He is in good spirits  and looking forward to resuming his business course.

I have again taken the liberty of selecting 2 of my works to publish and I trust Bob will approve once his Ipad is charged up again.

Once again, on his behalf. I want to thank all his fans for their generosity, support and ransom donations, especially the honey and chocolate .

If you wish to email Bob direct on his IPad you can at vanbear7@gmail.com

The paintings I have selected are “Bushfire”

and “Cabanon Dans Les Alpilles”

both of which are oils on canvas.

Regards

Vanbear7 pp Curly Bob

 

Deadline Close

The latest message received from the Yucatan was in Spanish which is not entirely surprising as the desperado bears live in Mexico. It reads “Esta es nuestra última advertencia. Si el rescate no está en nuestras patas de la medianoche (hora local), entonces Curly Bob recibe el tratamiento doble Van Gogh y luego darle de comer a las arañas (grandes)”

For those of our readers who are not fluent in Spanish, including myself, a rough translation c/o Google Translator would be "This is our last warning. If the ransom is not in our paws by midnight (local time ) then Curly Bob gets the double Van Gogh treatment and then we feed him to the spiders(big ones)”

They have even sent a picture of themselves, suitably disguised.The one on the left has the sinister name of “La "Pata Negro”, “The Black Paw” . He is the leader of the gang which is named after him. The one in the middle is called “El Chocco” because of his obsessive addiction to anything made of chocolate.

Local police say either of them would sell their mothers for a jar of honey or a bar of chocolate. Thankfully we expect to have the ransom airlifted to them before the deadline.

In what Bob said might be his last message, (gulp),  he wants the 2 following works to be published. If it comes to the worst he would like me to carry on painting albeit without his expert guidance. That’s Curly Bob, humble to the last. Needless to say any further news will be posted to Bob’s Blog, Twitter and Facebook pages.

Anyway, with a lump in my throat I have posted

“Boats in the Estuary” an oil on canvas and ;

”Brancaster Staithes, Norfolk” –  Gouache on Board.

Vanbear7

pp Curly Bob